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AIFV (America and Irk's Funniest Home Videos)
"Hello and welcome to AIFV! Tonight's show will have a few extraterrestrial tricks, some boyfriends will attempt to frighten their loved ones, although that might not work out too well for them, and there might be a couple ''cat-''tasrophies, and doggy disasters! And now, here's your host, the man who makes you laugh and cringe, Toooooom Bergeron!" A shadow of a man could be seen, until the translucent, multicolored wall lifted up, and a man wearing a grey dress coat, greg slacks, and a cream-colored, button up, collared shirt stepped out, smiling and waving. "Hello, and welcome to AIFV, I am your host, and I just want to acknowledge the members of the audience over here, because they...they have to be the youngest audience we've ever had, ladies and gentlemen, meet our crowd," The grey-haired man said, gesturing to the waving audience. The camera panned over them, first we saw a family of four, it was Zay, Dib, Zag, and Eve, all waving and smiling...Well...Eve was looking down, staring at something, while her father held her arm and moved it from side-to-side. Then a smaller family of three, a blonde girl cradling a small infant, and her sandy brown haired companion sitting with his arm around her, Meg, DJ, and their small daughter, Colette. A group of two sat side-by-side, a tall Irken female in disguise known as Tayree, sat, her arms and legs crossed, glaring at the camera, while Zar tipped his brown fedora. Zim, En, Cinn, and Zion were sitting together, Zim was busy truing to adjust his son's jacket and grumbling to himself in Irken, while the rest of the family smiled and waved. Cinn looked down and waved towards Dib's son, Zag, who waved back. Vix and Tanri waved, but, (of course), only Tanri smiled, Vix simply scowled at the camera, annoyed that he was being publicly embarrassed on television, the only reason he came, was because it made Tanri happy. A blue/violet-eyed Irken boy waved, hand-in-hand with a grey-eyed Irken girl leaned against him lovingly, a large smile plastered across her face, and a blue/violet-eyed teenage Irken girl sat beside the two, smiling along with them. They were the family made up of Shim, Zeel, and Zlim. "Alright, now, um...Dib, was it?" Tom asked, approaching the family of four. "Yeah," Dib said, nodding. "Okay, and how old are you?" "I'm twelve," Dib replied. "Okay, and you already have a daughter and a son?" Tom asked. "That's right." "...How often have you two been alone together?" Tom asked, pointing between Dib and Zay. Zay started laughing. Dib chuckled but was blushing hard. "In fact...I think most of you here are thirteen or younger, and over half of you have kids!" Tom said, standing up straight and looking at the crowd if humans and Irkens. "You up there!" He said, pointing to DJ, "How long was it until you got into a bedroom with her?" DJ laughed and replied jokingly, "First date!" Receiving a playful punch from Meg soon afterward. Tom laughed, "Well, this generation works fast! Anyway, let's take a look at some of our videos." The screen behind Tom flashed to a home video, it was of a little boy with blue eyes, wearing a long, hooded cloak, and skeletal facepaint. Dib's voice came forth, "What are you gonna do, Zag?" The boy replied, "I'm gonna scare Eve," before turning around and hiding in a corner of the room. Judging by the way the camera moved, you could tell Dib had done the same. When the door opened, Zag jumped out of his hiding place and made a frightening noise. The person who had opened the door screamed and stumbled backwards. Zag looked out the door and said, "Oops...Sorry Mommy." The crowd erupted with laughter. The next clip played, and it showed Shim and Zlim jumping on a trampoline. Somehow, Zlim stumbled off balance and fell over, her feet went up, and landed hard between Shim's legs. He held the area that Zlim had kicked, let out a loud, "Oof!" And groaned, falling over on the trampoline, only to bounce himself up, and off the trampoline, onto the dirt below. The audience was hysterical. The next video showed Tanri practicing a dance routine or something outside. You could physically see the camera being set down, but you could still see Tanri, as Vix came into view. Vix said, "See, you need to kick your leg up higher." Tanri did just that, but wasn't cautious enough, and kicked Vix in the head. He fell over backwards, holding his forehead. Tanri knelt down by him, "Vix! Oh my god, are you okay?" Vix sat up on an elbow, and said, "...That was very good." The crowd went insane, howling with laughter. The final clip played in the short segmant, it showed Zim, holding his two smeets, Cinn and Zion. Zion sneezed. Zim screamed and quickly dropped his smeets onto the couch. He ran around yelling, "Germs! The germs! They invade my eye sockets! Get me the disinfec-" He was cut off by running directly into the wall. En, who was running the camera, went into a large fit of hearty laughter, along with the rest of the audience. That group of clips ended, and Tom spoke up again, laughing slightly, "Alright, I hope you enjoyed that group of videos, and we'll be right back with more home videos." ***** "Hello, and welcome back to AIFV, people ask, what the sweetest thing in the world is, some people say puppies, others say romantic kisses, a few people think that it's someone jumping a cliff while riding a motorcycle!" The audience cracked up at Tom's comment. "Well, whatever the sweetest thing in the world may be, you're all gonna love these "sweet" videos." The clip began to play, and it showed a blonde man with blue eyes looking into a camera, he spoke with a heavy French accent. "Well, my daughter, Meg, has brought her boyfriend over to the house, they went upstairs...And still haven't come down, so, I decided to pay them a visit." You could see the camera turn and face a stairwell, as Meg's father began to climb them. He reached the top and walked down the hall to Meg's room. He opened the door, and found Meg and DJ kissing one another very passionately. He stood there for a minute, without making a sound, and then said, "Bonjour, my sweet belle." The two broke apart immediately. "Papa! Please, Get out of my room!" Meg yelled, throwing a pillow at her father, who was laughing hard behind the camera. The next home movie started, and the crowd's laughter quieted down. Tayree stood with her back to the camera, obviously unaware it was behind her. You could see Zar's hand reach out amd tap her shoulder. She yelled, "AGH!" Whirled around, and punched Zar, you could tell because he had groaned and the camera fell over with him. The following video began, and the audience was silenced from their fit of laughter. Eve was sitting on the ground, a small blue pacifier in her mouth, she was considerably younger during this video. Zion appeared on screen, he too, was very little. He walked over to Eve, pulled the pacifier out of her mouth, leaned forward, and planted a kiss on the hybrid's lips. Zay, who was behind the camera, let out an "Aww," along with the rest of the crowd. The video wasn't over, however, because after Zion had kissed Eve, he turned back to the camera, gave a thumbs up, and winked, before walking away. The audience was in hysterics, laughing at this little Irken smeet. The series of films ended, and Tom said, "I wonder who's side of the family he got that from," he chuckled, "Anyway, don't go anywhere, because AIFV will be right back." 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